Many faces of Zenna beginning.
Lately I've been having personal struggles. On a quest to somewhere, but not really sure where that place is and what direction to take. Been really on a deep and dark space mentally and physically. Been asking myself questions. Searching for answers.
I found myself wishing that I could just explode into a million pieces just to come together again. Come back wiser, more enlightened, of course that didn't happen. Instead I continued on my quest to nowhere, miserable angry and tired but hopeful.
I can honestly say I'm nowhere near the answers but I've learnt a few truths about myself.
I've learnt that I'm a hot mess. But I am a beautiful hot mess.
I've learnt that I am quite self loving and self aware, I pretend not to be. I act all shy and coy but the truth is I thrive on attention.... That one simple compliment changes my attitude and alters what would have been a really horrible day. I mean I love compliments nothing horribly wrong with that right? Just a boost of the ego once in while, neh?
I've learnt that I'm not the best mother that I'd like to be. I'm far from perfect, but to my daughter I am everything and then some. So I have stopped trying so hard to make each and everyday so perfect for her, trying to be what I've created in my head to be an awesome mom. But to accept that I am enough as for her.
I've also learnt that if I love you and you hurt me , then I'm not so forgiving. For years I've been pretending that I'm actually quite forgiving, I'm not. I'm not proud of it but I'm a typical Taurus, you hurt me and I see red, not grey.. orange or pink... RED.
Most importantly I've learnt that prayers really do get answered and for me God is no longer just a myth but the truth. Do I get frustrated with him? Do I question him? Do I complain or nag him? Of course I do! Does that make me a horrible person or out of God's favour? Of course NOT! !!
I'm still on this journey, I have a lot more truths to face about myself.
🚙🚙🚙🚙
I'm slowly falling more and more inlove with myself and my life.
Zenna
I found myself wishing that I could just explode into a million pieces just to come together again. Come back wiser, more enlightened, of course that didn't happen. Instead I continued on my quest to nowhere, miserable angry and tired but hopeful.
I can honestly say I'm nowhere near the answers but I've learnt a few truths about myself.
I've learnt that I'm a hot mess. But I am a beautiful hot mess.
I've learnt that I am quite self loving and self aware, I pretend not to be. I act all shy and coy but the truth is I thrive on attention.... That one simple compliment changes my attitude and alters what would have been a really horrible day. I mean I love compliments nothing horribly wrong with that right? Just a boost of the ego once in while, neh?
I've learnt that I'm not the best mother that I'd like to be. I'm far from perfect, but to my daughter I am everything and then some. So I have stopped trying so hard to make each and everyday so perfect for her, trying to be what I've created in my head to be an awesome mom. But to accept that I am enough as for her.
I've also learnt that if I love you and you hurt me , then I'm not so forgiving. For years I've been pretending that I'm actually quite forgiving, I'm not. I'm not proud of it but I'm a typical Taurus, you hurt me and I see red, not grey.. orange or pink... RED.
Most importantly I've learnt that prayers really do get answered and for me God is no longer just a myth but the truth. Do I get frustrated with him? Do I question him? Do I complain or nag him? Of course I do! Does that make me a horrible person or out of God's favour? Of course NOT! !!
I'm still on this journey, I have a lot more truths to face about myself.
🚙🚙🚙🚙
I'm slowly falling more and more inlove with myself and my life.
Zenna
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